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Welcome one and all, near and far,

Welcome to my blog LivingWithBilly.

Ever wonder what it would be like to live with someone who has a special disability?

Now you can somewhat get and idea. Read on to see more!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Welcome To My Silly Life

I've decided to change this post. I've had a rough month and decided I would talk about something else today. I'm sorry if you were looking forward to a book review.

"Took a wrong turn
 Once or Twice
 Dug a way out
 Blood and fire
 Bad decisions
 That's alright
 Welcome to my silly life."
P!nk- "Perfect"
No matter what, I somehow think I can relate to this song. Not in the ways of the music video where there is a depressed girl who can't fit in no matter what and hurts herself from trying to hard, I can relate to it because in every line, I can make my life a part of it. The one line that I think relates to me the most you ask?Why it's right in the title. "Welcome To My Silly Life."

Welcome to MY Silly Life

Have you ever thought that you had the most stressful day ever and all you want to do is scream into a pillow and cry? Have you ever thought of giving up on everything that has been getting you stressed? I have many, many times.

The following is just something funny to think about and may not compare to the paragraph under it because it makes sense to me. It's my reality and somehow I think of it like this.

I think of my life as an intense action movie. Now, clear mind. I have something I want you to think about. Picture yourself doing this: You walk into a movie theater. In hand you have a popcorn, candy and let's say a soda. Walking into the theater you realize no one is in there and you are there by yourself. Joyfully, you run up the stairs while bits of your popcorn gets thrown out of the bucket. Suddenly, The room goes dark. The movie is about to start. In your mind you have set that you are going to watch your movie and laugh and scream and cry as much as you want because no one is in there with you. The movies now starts. There are explosions and people screaming. You laugh because the effects are so stupid. "Hey! You, stupid monster come get me! I'm right here!" Suddenly, the movie stops and you sit down like nothing happened. The 'monster' stares at you and grabs you. Thinking this is a dream or nightmare you scream. Now, you're getting sucked into the movie and don't know what will happen next. Running from corner or corner of the movie screen you're trying to figure out how to leave. Truth is though, you're stuck and you have to figure out you're own way of getting out. Suddenly, the movie screen goes blank. There are three doors there all numbered 1 through 3. Now, you try to choose door 1. You walk through it not knowing what to expect. Then you see a white light and BOOM! You're back in your movie theater seat like nothing ever happened. Now, you are running out of the theater like a manic afraid of what may happen to you next.

Here's MY Silly Life

It's February school vacation and I am ecstatic to do anything stress free. Unfortunately, I'm sick with a non-stop low grade fever and a bad ear infection. My ear infection gets so bad that I cannot get a full night sleep until Monday. I e-mail my teachers after school on Friday asking if I can stay after for extra help in classes the week we go back because I haven't been doing so good in school  due to stress from school, family and life in general. It's now Monday, we are planning a vacation from Tuesday to Wednesday. My brother and sister go to my Grandma's on Sunday night so my parents and I can have a break. They came home that day and you're starting to feel a little better but, of course still not great. Now, they're home. Today it's Tuesday, my dad works as a cop. Monday night, he gets hurt at work. My dad goes to the hospital for a back injury. The next morning I get woken up by my mom saying that the vacation we were supposed to leave on today will not be happening. I now get stuck babysitting my seven year old annoying sister and five year old autistic brother. While my mom is gone visiting my dad at the hospital once again. This is the one time of many he's been in the hospital for being sick or hurt. I am now half asleep and my sister is getting on my nerves. She's bored and just annoying me half to death while my brother is crawling all over me and pinching and screaming and having a temper tantrum. Having no clue what to do I scream "Get away!" and they move away from me. I look at them and make them something to eat to try to calm them down. This entertains them for maybe an hour so that I can read or just do something. I text my mom making sure everything is okay and he will probably be coming home that night. I walk into the living room and see my brother and sister fighting and my brother acting insane. I tell them to stop and of course, they don't. This results in me yelling again. Finally, they calm down again. Then and hour later, they start fighting again and I scream then, my sister starts fighting with me and acts annoying, my brother starts being insane and climbing on me and pulling hair. I'm so stressed that I have to have my Uncle watch my brother and sister. Did I mention that my brother is also sick? This happens until probably 6 or 7 that night. At this time, my dad comes home in a walker after being at the hospital all day with my mom. Let's skip Thursday. My Dad goes to the doctors and I have to babysit til 3:15. I wake up so I can take care of them. For the whole week I've had a low-grade fever and still don't feel good.  I babysit while I wait for my dad and grandparents to get home. Suddenly, my brother gets so out of control that I just can't take care of him. It's only 12. I call my Uncle so that he can help me out. I wait until 2:15 so he can get here and I'm a wreck from the stress I've been under. I wait downstairs for everyone to come over. My brother is still sick and he's getting on my nerves along with my sister who won't shut up. I go downstairs and just cry and cry because I've gone through too much to deal with and I can't keep it in much longer. I stay this way for awhile until I finally call my mom. She comes home in an hour I take my mind off of things by texting or watching TV. This makes things worse and I hold everything in again. My mom comes home and I go with her to the store. I cry in the car while she's talking to me because I just cannot concentrate with all the stress around me. Finally, I go inside the store and then we get whatever we needed which, I don't even remember because I was so exhausted and so stressed with everything on my mind. We go home and I finally go upstairs. My dad of course, goes back to the hospital. This was only last night. I barely remember this because of how much stress I was under. Today, I go to the doctors and because of this weird thing that's been happening to my eye, I find out I need to get a CAT Scan tomorrow. I had a great vacation didn't I?

The sad part about this though?
It seems so normal.

What did this have to do with the movie theater story?

Everyday now is unexpected to me. There isn't one day I go knowing what is exactly going to happen in those 24 hours of the day. With the movie theater, you didn't know what was going to happen when you took the wrong turn or when you got sucked into the movie. Everything that happened inside the movie theater was completely unexpected.

People tell me I have nothing to stress about and that I am too young to be stressed.

Ha! That's hilarious. I disagree with this completely. I'm a stressed person and it's just something that people will have to deal with including me. I worry about my brother 24/7 and this keeps me stressed enough. Things may change but, at least I'm caring about him instead of just brushing him off to the side like I'm embarrassed from him or anything right?

Figure out something to help you become less stressed.
When this day happens I'll let you know.

Until Next Time Where I Will Hopefully Be Less Stressed,

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